Funeral director explains death literacy and its importance

Death is an inevitable part of life, yet it remains a topic that many of us find difficult to discuss – let alone plan for. Becoming more familiar with the concept and embracing what’s called ‘death literacy’ can be helpful for both individuals and families who are dealing with death and end-of-life issues. 

With the help of celebrant and funeral director Rachel Michael, we have some practical tips for discussing and managing the reality of death with your loved ones.

What is death literacy and what does it involve?

Death literacy is a phrase that describes the knowledge and understanding of death-related issues, including the processes of dying, grief and end-of-life planning. Being death literate simply means you are informed about the practical and emotional aspects of death, which can help you make better decisions and communicate more effectively with others about their end-of-life wishes.

“In a practical sense, death literacy is being educated about death and end-of-life issues, which helps us make informed decisions,” Rachel says.

More than just knowledge, death literacy also involves growing your understanding of the dying process, encouraging open communication with loved ones, reducing fears related to death, grief and loss, as well as many other considerations.

Practical strategies for developing death literacy

Here are some of Rachel’s practical tips to help you and your family become more comfortable with end-of-life planning: 

1. Start with a funeral plan: “A funeral director will walk you through the practicalities of what happens after death – cremation or burial, coffins, flowers and the costs involved,” says Rachel. This can then open the door to more personal conversations about dying.
2. Read and educate yourself: There’s a wealth of information available on death and dying, so take some time to read books and articles on this subject matter. “Read, then talk. There’s plenty of information out there, so soak it up. Even though discussing death can be confronting, it’s important to talk with loved ones about how you would like to be cared for at the end of life – and to learn their wishes too.”
3. Talk to an impartial third party: “Talking about dying takes courage and effort. Sometimes it can be easier to talk to an impartial third party – such as your GP – before broaching the subject with family.” 

How to talk about death and dying with loved ones

Starting these conversations early, rather than waiting until death is imminent, can make the process easier and possibly more productive.

“Beginning a conversation about death when it’s imminent can seem callous or unfeeling, so it’s understandable when it doesn’t happen,” Rachel says. 

But starting early means it might be less challenging or confronting, Rachel adds. A gentle way to initiate the conversation is by asking: “Have you ever thought about your funeral?”. You can then use this as a jumping-off point for more in-depth discussions about end-of-life wishes and plans.

Just remember to approach these conversations with sensitivity and an open mind. Encourage your loved ones to share their thoughts and feelings, and be prepared to listen without judgement – but don’t force the issue. The goal is always to make sure everyone’s wishes are understood and respected, especially when it comes to someone's end of life plan.

How to talk about death and dying with children

Children are naturally curious and perceptive, which is why you should include them in conversations about death. The key is to approach such conversations with care to make sure children feel safe and supported.

“Children are perceptive and observant, so when it comes to death and dying, they need honest information,” Rachel shares.   

She goes on to say that when explaining death to children, use clear and straightforward language. Avoid euphemisms like ‘gone to sleep’, as they can do the opposite of what you intend – creating confusion and fear. Instead, use direct terms like ‘dead’ or ‘died’ to help them understand the reality of the situation.

Rachel shares that it’s also important to validate children's emotions and encourage them to express their feelings, as it can help them process their grief in a tangible form.

“Encourage your children to make a card or draw a picture for the person who’s died. They’re expressing themselves, and it can also help you understand where they are in their grief process.”

The importance of death literacy and estate planning

Death literacy goes hand in hand with estate and end-of-life planning. Estate planning is generally about writing a will, setting up power of attorney and making decisions about the distribution of your assets. But it can also include  planning for end-of-life care, such as appointing a healthcare proxy (a person who can make health care decisions for you if you are unable to) or creating an advance directive that clarifies your medical wishes.

That’s why it’s so important to talk with your loved ones about how you would like to be cared for at the end of your life. It can be tough and confronting, but these conversations will make sure your end-of-life plans are fully aligned with your values. Once everyone is on the same page, it will give peace of mind to both you and your loved ones.

Helpful tips for end-of-life planning

Rachel shares some helpful end-of-life planning ideas that can be a great starting point, if you’re not sure where to begin, consider if these may work for you :

• Advance directives: Legal documents will state your explicit preferences for medical care if you are unable to make decisions for yourself – whether it’s about life-sustaining treatments, pain management, organ donation, etc.
• Healthcare proxy: Appointing someone as your healthcare proxy means they will be able to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are incapacitated.
• Funeral planning: Planning your funeral can lessen the heavy burden on your family and make sure your final farewell reflect your personal preferences.
• Estate planning: Writing a will and setting up trusts  can be a good way to be certain that your assets will be distributed according to your wishes. It also means you can assign guardians for children and make arrangements for the care of your pets.

When beginning your end-of-life planning, you may want to consider funeral insurance, which can help cover your funeral costs, which can help  your loved ones can arrange the perfect farewell, without the added financial stress. 

Learn more about Guardian Funeral Insurance and request a quote online today.